2 years alcohol free: what I have learned
New Years Eve of 2019 was the last night I drank alcohol.
This started off as an experiment to take 2020 off drinking, but I am now at the end of February 2022, more than two years later and I doubt I will now ever drink again.
I once heard Brene Brown say that sobriety is her "superpower" and I completely understand what she means by this. Sobriety is definitely one of my key ingredients to success and something that I am so happy I am doing.
What originally got me started thinking about my relationship with alcohol was this picture below that my eldest son drew back in 2017.
Notice the picture of me and what I am holding (a glass of wine). At the time I thought the picture was hilarious, but as I looked back on it over time I realised I was setting a dreadful example for my kids and that clearly they saw alcohol as a massive part of my life.
So this was the first trigger that something had to change.
I had grown up with parents who were big drinkers. In fact my parents rarely take a day off drinking and this was a habit I watched from when I was a baby and was clearly something that influenced my own thoughts around alcohol.
I didn't want to pass this habit down to my own kids.
In late 2019 I also read a book called ‘The Alcohol Experiment’ by Annie Grace and this was what set me on the path to stopping drinking all together.
In this book Annie Grace talks about the science and health issues associated with drinking and challenges the reader to think about their relationship with alcohol. I knew I wasn’t happy with how much I was drinking and the ‘hold’ it had over me.
I didn’t think I was an alcoholic but I did know that I thought about alcohol way too much and drank way more often than I thought I should (or wanted to).
In the book Annie Grace challenges the reader to just take 30 days off alcohol as a starting point and to reflect on how that makes you feel. So I did 30 days off in late 2019 and felt fantastic by the end.
But after this initial break I quickly got back to drinking more regularly again and before I knew it I was drinking fairly most days again (not as much as before, but still more than I would like).
So I decided that the best way to really kick the habit was to take a full year off and see how I felt at the end of it.
And that’s exactly how I went in to 2020.
Now more than 2 years later I’m still completely alcohol free. I haven’t had a single drink since New Year’s Eve of 2019. It’s honestly changed my life in many ways.
Here’s some of the things I’ve learned since giving up alcohol.
1: The biggest benefit - emotional regulation
My life is obviously full of ups and downs being a Mum, running a business, dealing with the unpredictability of my son Hugo and his health (he’s profoundly disabled) and more recently being diagnosed with three brain aneurysms that I now have to deal with via brain operations.
In the past I have been prone to depression and anxiety - especially when I was younger - but I have noticed since I've stopped drinking that all of this has dramatically stabilised and I rarely have any symptoms of anxiety these days.
I’m also able to cope well with difficult situations when they arise and although this is likely only in part to not being a drinker any longer, I’m sure it helps.
But by far the biggest benefit about not drinking has been the improvement in my sleep and my ability to wake up each morning feeling great (on the whole!). I no longer feel groggy in the mornings or, in some instances, just plain terrible from drinking a glass too many the night before.
Looking back I realise that on many mornings I would wake up feeling awful and I know for sure that when I am drinking my ability to regulate my mental health is also severely compromised.
2: Health benefits
The health benefits from not drinking have also been dramatic for me.
My weight has completely stabilised, I'm the fittest I've ever been, my skin is clear and healthy looking and I generally feel so much better as well.
Not all of this just happens because of giving up alcohol - but take fitness, for example. The reason I'm the fittest of my life is because I'm now even more consistent with exercise than I used to be. I never miss 6am classes and when I am at my sessions I feel great, rather than only working at half capacity due to drinking the night before.
Alcohol used to also sometimes cause me to overeat foods that aren't good for me and without alcohol my self control over avoiding this sort of thing is now so much stronger, which obviously helps to stabilise my weight as well.
3: I don’t need alcohol to socialise
In the past the thought of going out to dinner and not drinking was unbearable.
I worried people would cast judgement on me and I used to think I needed alcohol to take the edge off and help me relax in social situations, especially if I was meeting new people. Plus there is the social stigma that people who don't drink alcohol are 'boring'.
But I've realised that none of this is true.
In fact one night when I was out with my sister she said "you're actually more fun when you don't drink"...I'm not quite sure how to take that - but there you go! Haha!
So take it from me that once you are used to not drinking you don’t even notice or think about it when you go out. And over time your friends and family get used to you not being a drinker and stop trying to ask you to drink with them every time you go out!
Overall if you've ever questioned your relationship with alcohol then my biggest tip would be to start small and build up to something like what I've been doing.
I would also definitely recommend reading The Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace as a place to start on your journey of taking back control over how much you drink.
The past few years I haven't been drinking it has become easier and easier. And the thing I like most about not drinking is that the question of whether or not I will have a drink is no longer there and this means that I never have to spend any mental energy on that question. These days I’m just a ‘non-drinker’ and that means that I never even think about whether or not I will drink. For me this is the easiest way of managing it.
It’s also no coincidence that my most successful few years in business have also coincided with not drinking. Although this is only semi-related to not drinking it’s all the other habits I’ve added in to my life as a result of giving up alcohol (e.g. getting up early, taking my fitness and food more seriously, adding in meditation etc.) that cumulate and help me keep improving as a person and business owner.
Hopefully these ideas have given you something to consider if you've ever questioned your relationship with alcohol.
If you are keen to cut back - I encourage you to take the challenge. It’s been an absolute game changer for me!
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Dr Clare Le Roy
